1000+ Short Inspirational Quotes

63+ Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes & Sayings Images 2024

Funny Valentines Day Quotes

Hey, guys Well I’m quite against Valentine’s day. but today I’m sharing here some funny Valentine’s day quotes and images just to entertain you.  365 days are for spreading love so why choose only one day to express your feelings?

Here are 30+ Valentine’s Day funny quotes & sayings in English with images of 2024. These funny words will surely make you laugh and if you’re single then most of them will fit your situation.

You can find a lot of Valentine’s day designs online in all formats including Photoshop format, which you can conveniently access and customize online.

Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes Images

Read Also:

it’s almost Valentine’s Day and I don’t know what to get myself yet.

Any plans for Valentine’s Day?

I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending that I don’t exist.

If I worked at a restaurant on Valentine’s Day I would put a fake engagement ring in every girl’s Drink.


Valentine’s Day Forecast: I’m alone and I love it.

Screw Valentine’s day I’m just waiting for the discounted chocolate on February 15th.


On Valentine’s Day open the car door for her. After Valentine’s Day open the trunk for her.

For Valentine’s day, I want 1 million Dollars.

Happy Singles Awareness Day!! (S.A.D) because you’re never more aware you’re single than this time of year.

The awkward moment when you realize Valentine’s Day is approaching fast and the only one who loves you is your pet.

Funny Valentine Short Quotes

Don’t Even Think About it!! List times you screwed up.

I love you less than my cat but still a lot!

I’m going to spend Valentine’s day with my true love. Food

Everyone’s all in love and in a relationship and I’m just like. Banana

Would you be my Valentine?

Thoughts on Valentine’s day.

1, I woke up

2, I went to school

3, I saw him

4, I hugged him,

5 I kissed him,

btw the order is 2,3,4,5,1

Happy Valentine’s day hope you’re all finding love whether that’s with food, Netflix, or even a 6 pack of chicken nuggets. Oh yeah and of course that special someone x

Even though sometimes you ask me if I’m still watching, no one understands me like you. Happy Valentine’s day NETFLIX.

I’d love you even if you were so ugly that everyone died.

I am on a diet so you can buy me diamonds instead of candy this Valentine’s day.

February is the month of love. What’s the difference between me and a calendar? a calendar has dates.

If you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s day, just remember. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.

Who benefits from Valentine’s day?

Everyone I know is either getting engaged or married and I’m here like lemme post another quote.

Yes, I am going to be single on Valentine’s Day. No, I don’t think it’s a big deal.

When your friend finally talks to her crush the whole squad is like.

Finally, find your heart didn’t think you had one.

Funny Valentine Quotes For Singles

This is how I spend my Valentine’s Day.

Be my Valentine. I’d let you see my browser history.

funny valentines day card

I knew I loved you. When I farted and you didn’t run away.

funny valentines day cards

My Plan on February 14

Funny Valentine Quotes 2024

“Valentine’s Day is the poet’s holiday.” – Ted Kooser

“You’re never alone on Valentine’s Day if you’re near a lake and have bread.” – Mike Primavera

“Without Valentine’s Day, February would be…well, January.” – Jim Gaffigan, Comedian

“Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.” – H. L. Mencken

“A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

“What the world needs is more love and less paperwork.” – Pearl Bailey

“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?” – Lily Tomlin

“Between lovers, a little confession is a dangerous thing.” – Helen Rowland

“There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.” – Melanie Griffith

“Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on x-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns

“Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm… easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” – Michael Scott, The Office

“You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.” – Henny Youngman

“If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji – no matter what that emoji, they don’t love you back.” – Chelsea Peretti

“You know how people say, “You can’t live without love”? Well, oxygen is even more important.” – Dr. Gregory Houser

“A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

“Gravitation can’t be held responsible for people falling in love.” – Albert Einstein

“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” – Albert Einstein

“An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” – Agatha Christie

“Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” – Kathy Mohnke

“When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad.” – Helen Rowland

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell

“If I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.” – Chelsea Handler

“Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.” – Jerry Seinfeld

“As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy.” – Ralphie May

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” – Joan Crawford

“Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.” – Helen Gurley Brown

“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates

“I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.” – Woody Allen

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.” – Samuel Johnson

See Also: 100+ Marriage Quotes in English – Finding the Right Words

“Remember, your Valentine’s card shows you care enough to send the very best, even though you’re too lazy to put it in your own words.” – Melanie White

“Love is the name of an irrepressible moment formed inside one complete pulsation of a heart” – Munia Khan

“The thing about Valentine’s Day is that people discover who are single and who to feel jealous of.” – Faye Morgan

“The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24/7, 365 from birth until you fall in love.” – Sophie Monroe


Hi. I'm Mursaleen Siddique, The guy behind UltraUpdates.com. I'd rather call myself a struggling Blogger. I love Blogging with WordPress, Covering Tech, General Topics, Graphic & Web Design Inspiration., Feel free to get in touch via mentioned social media platform or E-mail me at hello[at]ultraupdates.com
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